First and foremost I want to apologize for the vulgarity. But it's a Fight Club quote...so...get over it.
Why am I here? To make movies, of course. Film theory is just fine but the act of creating something so unbelievably rad that people go 'Wow' or laugh to themselves just because they are so moved is what I want to be part of. When I first saw There Will Be Blood I was completely blown away by the fact that every single shot was a masterful piece of art. Like an ever-flowing painting. And I can't forget to mention the sly grin that would grow across my face every time Jonny Greenwood's chilling sound design made every part of the movie come to life. This very effect is what I want in response to my films.
To get there, however, is the biggest question mark. Eighteen hours of production classes this semester can't hurt. I'd tell people I'm taking the maximum hours and all of it is film production and they're all like "Dude, you're crazy" and I'm all like "Dude, this is what I'm in school for." If the major offered nothing but production classes I wouldn't be able to complain one bit. After all of this is over with (in the next year and a half), my plan is to be SoCal bound. Maybe live with my dad for some time and then squeeze my way into the chaos of L.A. Who knows? Maybe Wilmington will explode into an orgy of film and money?
Experimental production is feeling like a tough task for me. I've worked on a film set before and love doing my part and not wanting to let the rest of the crew down. But now I am the crew. I'm not sure I've been able to tug my creativity out from deep inside enough to be able to impress anyone on my own. This is actually what worries me more than anything else. I think I doubt myself too much to even have considered film as a major. After high school, I finally learned the word confidence, but this is something entirely different. I need to trust myself and Just let go! Hey, another Fight Club quote...
